What Does Friendship Mean To You?


Many women over the years have given me strength and support and have touched my life in a way that will always be in my heart......Whether they know it or not, the amazing women have impacted my life throughout many moves.

I find myself having a pity party from time to time. Today I am finding a moment to give thanks and be grateful to all those special ladies who made life as a military spouse better over the past years. I feel like I am trying to crack some secret code most of the time as we move again n again. Starting over is not easy, but finding good quality friends OMG that is like trying to break into a bank, sorority, or out of jail.....I know life is busy, and we live in a social media Facebook-driven world. FB drives me crazy, but at the same time, it connects us w/ lost loved ones and friendships that otherwise I couldn't keep up with. FB is like the good cop bad cop with me............Part of the problem is the mindset... that need for instant gratification.... it takes time for friendship; it is like any other relationship; it needs nurturing and again hard to do online ....some people you click with instantly ....others it takes time. I am an open book; I lay it all out there—this overwhelming for some, others not so much. I am thankful for each person that is excepting of me and all my quirkiness...

Let me start here:

KY: Well, raised here... but I only call a few people lifelong friends; they know who they are, and I am so thankful for their support, especially now from a distance. These ladies, oh the stories we could tell, and I hope someday as old ladies, we are sitting somewhere together laughing and reminiscing on how much fun we had "back in the day" These are the ladies that saw me through heartache and happiness. We have experienced life's worst and best together, and they are held high in my heart!

TN:  These fantastic ladies made many deployments and lonely weekends less lonely. I am so thankful for them, and those memories will always impact me. We had fun scrapbooking, many Thanksgivings spent together when the family couldn't be there, dancing, girls nights out. I feel this group sat a very high standard of supporting each other as military spouses and women should be about.

CO: Oh well, another state I can say has been there done that...lol BUT again, 3 ladies made all the difference in the world. Each one, whether they know it not, added value to my life.

GA: I loved Savannah. Southern City...I am a southern girl... This is also where my son was born, and life as a new mom can be overwhelming, and even though I was a new mom, alone a lot, I am so thankful for Juanita and her family.  I not only called her neighbor but friend the perfect scenario... The times we shared there were great, the advice we sought out on motherhood... We have stayed friends, though out our military travels. We have watched our children grow, shared accomplishments from a distance. This is where FB comes in handy, I suppose.   I am also thankful for Stephanie during my time in Savannah and her almost daily phone calls, our conversations over coffee were the best, and some days I would give anything to go back to that time again.

FL: We have lived there twice, and if we are lucky, we will call this place "retirement." This is the place I consider my second home.  Now this list can go on and on so many women there too many to mention.  But I would not trade our girls nights out, our wine and brie on the beach, our going aways, all the support there is not worth any amount of gold.  I miss them all.  Just good times and good people all the way around.

Japan: It is no secret I was not happy about Japan. I came here thinking the support system would be great. That's all I had heard before arriving; however, I am sad to say initially, I did not feel very supported.  Support does not always come from directions that we think or expect to come; a higher-up knows better. Overtime some ladies who did not know me invited me into their world, gave me a chance, and took the time to get to know me. We are of different branches and ranks, but at the end of the day, with w/this group of ladies, as it should be, it doesn't matter.  They opened their doors and hearts to me and welcomed me into their circle of sisterhood. I am so grateful for each and every one of these ladies for their invites, phone calls, diet support, walks, babysitting, but most of all, friendship. They have reminded me that "grown-up" friendships still exist, and women can show support without competition and jealousy.  If we don't support each other in our endeavors, who will?  We are always so hard on ourselves; it is nice to have that friend to remind you how "great" you are and that you can get through tough times.

NC: This move has taken the longest to make connections.  I think it is because we live so far away from the base, and it is very "local."  All things worth waiting for takes time.  I have great neighbors, swim team moms, school moms, and coworkers. I met some great ladies through a FB social group. Yes, I gave in and search out friends on FB. One of my most valued friends came at a time of need. She n I worked together while  I did not really know her; she came into my life while I was dealing with breast cancer, she brought sunshine and support like no other. The friendship has grown stronger over the years, and she has introduced me to some amazing ladies and helped me make more friends.  In a time of need and despair, God places people in your life.

I feel it is nice to tell people when they have touched our lives. I recently told a lady I met when we first arrived in Japan, I love her energy. She always greets me w/ a hug and a smile. She does not really know me. We are only acquaintances, but our kids are friends at school, and I love that she exceeds such positive energy.  It feels weird telling a stranger they have touched your life, and I think she may find it uncomfortable. But in today's' world where we are so social media-driven, text message-driven, I can understand why. It probably seems fake, but it is sincere from my heart. I think more women need to hear, "Hey, you made my day, and thank you!"

 When is the last time you complimented a woman that looked nice, or you liked her blouse or told them they just made your day?  Try it sometime w/ a friend or stranger and watch their reaction. They almost act confused by your statement or don't know what to say back? Why is that? Have we forgotten how to speak or say nice things to those we care about or have touched us in some way?

See the pattern Quality over Quantity?  It takes time but so worth finding those quality friendships that last a lifetime; it is such a hard thing to remember at a time when you feel lost and alone.    I hope that all these ladies and those I did not name know how special they are to me, and I hope in some way, I have touched their lives! I am thankful for each lady, whether named here or not, because I know I have forgotten someone ( I am getting older) that has touched my life in some way...

So thankful for so many amazing women in my life!

Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what.
- Unknown


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